Failure In Love

Love has being in the air for days, years, decades, centuries, thousands of age.

Yet LoVe never fades away, staying fresh in everyone's mind,
following,
protecting,
chasing,
sacrificing,
playing,
and even dying for LoVe.

I've being in the failure of LoVe life a few times, even though they were not suppose to be counted as usable in my 'LoVe-failure-counts'. I'm just secretly in LoVe with them.

I still remember that the 1st girl I fell in LoVe was my neighbour, my friend's younger sister, and she's the same age as I am. We still contact in these years because of his brother, one of my best friend.

The rest of the girls were basically in my primary and secondary school. Now they are in LoVe with other much-more-luckier guys.

The longest-spree in my single-handed LoVe is Ms.P, who is tough and independant. She's good and nice, but have a bit of 'temper' issue. But I didn't care much by that time.

Ms. P was fated with me by the time I was in Form 2, when my English tuition class closed, due to too many branches and risks of money loss. That's when everything happened.

I was put into the same class with her in 2002. We met but never talked (basically I was focusing too much on my English teacher, and they thought that I was an English Freak, who was too good in English). But results showed otherwise. We were merely the same but I spoke too much with my teachers, forgot their existence.

After 1 year, we finally met and talked. It was fun when I met her in my local church's Teen Gathering (for age 12 to 18 only). Then we have much to talk about.

Then I found out that her father were once my dad's college in the newspaper factory.

Years passed, things changed. We were merely very good friends anymore. She found a few best girl friends as companions.


Once she got an accident in 2006, when we were studying MUET in our old English tuition school. That's our 1st meeting place and our 1st leaving place. Our hearts were left there.

Her father slammed his green Wira behind a truck. Thank God they were not injured by that time. I was late for tuition that time and I passed through the same road by that time. Then I sent Ms. P together with me to tuition school. I saw the front part of the car smashed, glasses every where...

My mother knew that I was scared for her safety and I asked her to call Ms. P by my cellphone. I was relieved when I heard her voice.

My dearest mom knows my feeling as well as I know hers. She allowed me to help Ms. P as much as I could.

That was the last thing I have done to her, the end of Prince and Princess story...


She is now in Sabah University, together with her new and 1st boyfriend. I found out the second day from the Sarawak Blackout, in MSN 2008. The lights were on, but my mind was in total darkness, heart was cold and harden.


For 5 years I was in LoVe with her.
No tears, no mood, no nothing...


I've picked up myself after a few days. Solid face, calm eyes, tensed walking. That was over.

I knew that I didn't make my move early, rarely talk to her later in 2004, I took that risk on my own to let her go with other boys. But I still care for her, only as a normal friend.

If I can manage to pick up what I have, I might as well learn how to put down. As in Chinese Idiom: " 拿得起, 放得下 ".


In our 1st Semester's holiday, we met in our church, the Youth Gathering ( from age 19 to 27). When I looked her back, I lost my feeling towards her as my dream girl. She changed, not only my heart, but my life too.


This is why I kept this old song 'Sunny day' (晴天) in my music playlist. The lyric is showing my previous life.


To My Dear Anderson,
Life is hard, and is easy. You reminded me of my life, together with GIFC. That's why I'm interested with you guys. You are my backup memories. We have incidents happened in our meetings and it's not coincident. We are fated as well. Your lost and gains are shared between your friends and other blogger, including me. This is the reality.

GIFC inspires my blogging, and Anderson, this piece of article is from 'you' actually.

Audrey, Alicia, Nico, Lester, Hiroshi, Chong, the rest are yours also...

And God made my life more meaningful... ... ... ...