Anime Clip - 'Draw With Me'

After watching this short-but-meaningful anime, I'm feeling that I'm living in that world.

That boy's face, that girl's expression...

It's just like my Goddess and I...


The boy's cool and calm face is the real one underneath my 'mask' which I'm wearing for these years. I never meet anyone that's important, who I miss and glad to find.

Yes, my family treats me well. But we have to go on, independent, some day, and live by ourselves. It's time to find myself my other half. It's being a while that a girl can match my way of life.


'Boy meets Girl'
Everything starts with the first glance. The first sight sets the 'fire'.

The clip starts with a glass - means a barrier between relationships or the world. Then he sees a girl. The boy reacts by trying to interact with her, because she has his attention for now, no others.

By any ways he can use, he managed to communicate with the girl. They managed to use the glass barrier as a tool for accompanying each other. It's a start.


'Breaking the Barrier'
It's time for a little closer. The boy is a bit desperate for a change. He wants to meet the girl directly, hand-by-hand touch, feels the warmth of the girl. He tries to break the standing glass.

He risks his hands, pain and bruises so that he can meet the girl and go to their own world.

But in the end, he showed his best effort... he lost his drawing hand.


'Loss'
Now he lost his only hand which is capable to draw. They lost their lovely way to express to each other. The girl seems to lose him. Both of them are sad... The boy's disappointed, and so is the girl.

Then she risks her arm to him to comfort him, but he's depressed and the look of blaming himself begins to form. Both of them disappointed and despair once. Now they are suffering the same faith.


'Feeling'
The barrier between my Goddess and I has always been there. It's the study, the life, the process that keep us away.

Her sacrifice has been seen and I have tried my best. We are trying to communicate for this long and the glass wall is still there - the limit between us.

I was trying to force myself to break the glass, instead, it tries to block me away from her. It's the gap that I was trying to surpass and get what I want.

She's nice and willing to talk to me even though we cannot be together for the time being, or never. I've seen what she has done, and what she's willing to do. It's a rare thing that she's willing to let go to redeem something other lost. It's the heart that counts.

I don't want to see her suffer the same faith like the way the girl does. It kills me when I watched this clips, still I'm watching it again and again.

I'm the kind of man who doesn't like to see my dear suffers and depress, so I'll try my best to cheer her up and keep away my thick mask. To see her suffers means to cut myself into pieces bits by bits, day by day. It hurts me more than she does.

I don't like to see her lost something precious to fulfill my selfish needs.


I know that if I break the glass now, disaster will come upon us. It's my urge that pushes me to her. The gap can't be broke by this time and I'll wait for her answer to release the barrier.

Or at least lower the barrier.


P.S. It's time to continue my EMA study...

Events on 'Wasting Money' (Update)

Instead of having a haircut, I had a 'skin' cut on my middle finger after changing my 'sister' - Vikki's brand new Perodua Kancil (out in April) in the middle of the day.

While meeting Vikki in the Swinburne canteen, I met my hardworking Goddess in the corner. Even though she didn't notice me, I could still see her studying with her friends.

How fortunate~! >,<


Back to the point, Vikki and I are even... for now. I still can't remember what I promised to her from last Summer Semester that I 'chia' her a meal. Today, is a TIE. I pay her back by helping her to change her 'tayar bocor'.

It's the left-front side, quite flat I say.

Anyhow, I accidentally scratched my middle finger on the road while using the car Jack. It hurts after I finished the change, and I spotted a BIG hole with a small iron nail on it. I mean the tyre, not my finger. Imagine if that happens on my hand.

Maybe that's because she drove a long way while letting her flat tyre be...



erm...



Flat.



The real case is, I spent RM 24 + RM 3.50 for tonight, not including brunch of RM 5.50 for this morning at Joo Him (behind RHB Bank which near our hostel).

We went to Pizza Hut for our 'main course' and a CC a stone away from OneTJ for our 'desserts'.

Now this is the formula of 'desserts = stressed' is what I need to express my feeling now.

Chong & Ezra wanna have a Dota match with Jonathan since we don't know his Dota skill. But I gave in and joined them (although I don't like Dota that much anymore). That explains the RM3.50.

My mom called and she knew what's going on (of course! I'm the one who told her, with honesty). But she soon tells me to give her a call when I'm back in hostel.

So I used a total of RM33 in a day! What a waste. I have to follow the 'Maggie Mee Policy' again.

I forgot... add RM2 for my tuna sandwich from Swinburne canteen at 8.35am.
So the total is RM35!

Ngaidi...

Hot & Cold = Good & Bad (?)

Just finish my DAMN~ EMA last Thursday, and I was nearly 'fear' to death.

I was studying my EM for 2 days and I wasn't feeling so lucky to get a high score, even for my EMA quiz... until Lilian came into my Facebook chat (I was relaxing after a period of revision, honest!) and told me that it was quite easy.

The rest of Wednesday, I did manage to 'relax'!

Still I was carrying the hard & cold heart to class 10.20 in the morning to the small battlefield.

I managed to give my best shot and get-over with it till the end.



The Good Thing:
I picked a phone called from '082' and thought it was from my relative, instead, it's from student admin. I was asked to take my Yayasan Agreement form.

Me: Yayasan form?
Admin: Yes, Yayasan form.
Me: Where is it? (DUH?!)

I said the silly question. I've being there.

By that time I was in Chong's cool, air-conditioned, RM 450 twin sharing room. But the excitement managed to heat me up.

There hanged a big, great smile on my face. Amazing.



The Bad news:
After I came back to the hostel, I saw the new male warden, carrying a bunch of letter-look-alike papers in his hands. Usually he won't be coming back to the hostel in the afternoon.

I went to meet Ezra's roomate. Mr Warden came and gave him a letter. An evacuation letter.

Maybe the Swinburners have too leave to avoid 'Swine Flu'?

Swinburne = 'Swine'burne

And they say that Swinburne is for everyone. Including Islams.

Anyway, we were forced to leave our room before 15th of July 2009.


Swinburne seems to be strictening their '1 year' policy, so any hostelers have to leave without much earlier notice like last semester's students.

It's so unfair. Seriously, the whole world is unfair. Since we signed the contract, there's nothing we can do.

I gathered 4 people - Ezra, Samuel, Ezra's roomate, including me of course, to check out Queen Tower's 2 double room 'suites'. The place's nice. Comfy and quiet. Just the distance is our opponent now. Maybe we can lose a few kilos after the end of our studies.

But I doubted the 'ABC' in Da Lai will stop me from doing that. Haha...


P.S. Still have a few assignments dangling in my laptop. It's time to 'eliminate' them all... before this week's EMA Saturday test (the 2nd wave) kills me. (-.-lll

A 'Nobody' 's Sunday

Everything back to normal, but the stress is still on. EMA quiz is coming, assignments around me, not to mention, games surround me.

There's a lot of games delayed for a long time, and the mood of exploring them is not ready in motion.

Guess they have to wait again. Maybe I'll finish them off when I get back to my lovely home back in Swan City. While getting my driving to perfection, like a F1 driver. Haha...


I found out that I've been missing many clubs and sports lately. I can see my belly growing inch-by-inch every week, not to mention my wallet is getting thinner. I overspent and it's time for "Maggie Mee Policy" for a short few days.

Damn Alfredo & SCR Xpress, eating those juicy chicken chops. Fancy cuisines always get me to my stomach.

Seriously, I need some loosening. I mean my belly, not my wallet. Or else it's going to cough blood.


Oh, by the way, I got a nice video from KennySia's short talk. It's a parody originated from Wonder Girls - Nobody.





Check it out! Seek the original MV from Youtube too ^,^/

Now I'm not addicted to games, except this song. Just love it~!

P.S. I need to find a weight to check my recent weight...

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Oik, oik~

Dull Sunday...

This morning I fell asleep in my Sunday Church, feeling so tired.

I slept early and kept on dreaming about the anime, Vandread, and I don't know why.

Well, this is a bad omen.


Things just got worst after Mark met me. I'm starting to realize it. Things has changed around here.

My gang has been separated into different relationships... and I'm feeling lonelier than before.

It's like so dull and boring that Lilian, from Kenya, starting to say the same thing. I have no mood for Dota, games and outing with my gang.

Less and less being said, more and more being silent. It's like strangers around, just meet for a few days.

There's no "LIFE"...


It's true, when I start to feel neglected, pushed away this semester. It's like just a temporary mates, fooling around.

Following them is making me wondering. Can I do this for the rest of my life? Can I keep on being 19?

Seriously, I'm 21 this year. Being single is bad, but no friends around is worst. I'm beginning to feel the pressure. I'm back to my lonely self.

I still remember what Guhan said about me being a dumb-like person, so simple and boring. When we first met, he thought I was 18 last year, same as he was.


There's 2 choices I have been stalling , that's being 21 or 19. I rather do like an adult do, and less on gathering with them, or just fit into them as one.

Now that decision is made, I'm just be the cold and boring one again, fitting into the lecturers life more.

Maybe I'll be a 19 sometimes, but things won't change. I am just who I am, nothing special.

I'm not popular, not well-spoken, lame and boring... I suppose.

That's why I'm hoping to go back to the old days, with my old school friends, same age as me.

But that's over now. They have their own life and activities.


This is like DEATH to me... and it's all over me. I'm finished.

Focus Group - 1st Sem, April

Wednesday - 29 April
I was asked by our female warden, Miss Melissa, as one of the Focus Group Committee in G310.
The tea was great, so was the good food, especially the Chicken-Pie Tarts.

The even greater ones were the complaints I heard from the people, the contributor of Swinburne's wealth - The students themselves.

Lot's of stuff were commented on and requested by the students.

1. Racism
2. Insult
3. Guards
4. Facilities
5. Anti-virus
6. Water Dispenser Filters
7. Services

It seems that the staffs, teachers & guards in Malaysia have something in common... looking down on foreigners, especially dark skins.

We don't say about the local natives, but this happens a lot in my experience. I myself have this kind of attitude once. But I regretted.

They are some fine young lads & ladies from Pakistan, Africa, Kenya & Saudi Arabia. Those people can be friendly, even better than Malaysian, I say.

Since Malaysia has been rated the 3rd last country (in a WORLD list!) which is bad in attitudes, made by "Reader's Digest", I don't see why Malaysian doesn't act like this. That was later confirmed again by our Ex- Prime Minister, Abdullah Badawi.

Even the guards here bully the Pakistanis by only communicate with them with BM, shouting on their faces. I know that those guards are rude, but not with the white Caucasians.

Maybe we Malaysians give those white guys with respects except those in black? Hmm...

The staffs, however, also acted in the same way, same as the teachers. But this happens to a small party of them.

They look down on blacks, seeing them as low-educated beings with not much of a hope. That's what I think in the 1st place.

You can say that they put the locals and whites as their top priority. Setting appointments, personal tutoring, as much as treatments - not equal.


The saddest point is not that:
Puan Sri Laila Taib, the wife of Sarawak Chief Minister Tan Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud passed away at 3.45pm...

Just about half an hour our meeting starts. She would have die faster if she knew that we were having these serious issues. XD
Now that's a real grief.



PS. I saw my Goddess nearly everyday in University, including today! In Spring! Labour Day!

Wow!

Glad that she's fine and healthy, carrying that sweet look. />,<)\ *aahhh~* *Can't forget*