This morning I fell asleep in my Sunday Church, feeling so tired.
I slept early and kept on dreaming about the anime, Vandread, and I don't know why.
Well, this is a bad omen.
Things just got worst after Mark met me. I'm starting to realize it. Things has changed around here.
My gang has been separated into different relationships... and I'm feeling lonelier than before.
It's like so dull and boring that Lilian, from Kenya, starting to say the same thing. I have no mood for Dota, games and outing with my gang.
Less and less being said, more and more being silent. It's like strangers around, just meet for a few days.
There's no "LIFE"...
It's true, when I start to feel neglected, pushed away this semester. It's like just a temporary mates, fooling around.
Following them is making me wondering. Can I do this for the rest of my life? Can I keep on being 19?
Seriously, I'm 21 this year. Being single is bad, but no friends around is worst. I'm beginning to feel the pressure. I'm back to my lonely self.
I still remember what Guhan said about me being a dumb-like person, so simple and boring. When we first met, he thought I was 18 last year, same as he was.
There's 2 choices I have been stalling , that's being 21 or 19. I rather do like an adult do, and less on gathering with them, or just fit into them as one.
Now that decision is made, I'm just be the cold and boring one again, fitting into the lecturers life more.
Maybe I'll be a 19 sometimes, but things won't change. I am just who I am, nothing special.
I'm not popular, not well-spoken, lame and boring... I suppose.
That's why I'm hoping to go back to the old days, with my old school friends, same age as me.
But that's over now. They have their own life and activities.
This is like DEATH to me... and it's all over me. I'm finished.
10 comments:
Just passed by. What happened to you with your gang huh?
Yo man~why so dull~you should not think too much~happy always~
Something which is hard to explain, but have been done.
I'm just back to square one.
Hehe.. i kinda understand your situation. Because before coming here, I also mix a lot with those youngsters in BB, all 2 years to 4 years younger than me. Kecil-kecil belaka. Haha.. Yeah, i agree its hard to decide whether to mix with peers or minors. But for me, i'm not really good in making decisions, so i do just hangout with them doing young stuff (maybe make me feel younger :P).
hehe...
I'm no social expert so i don't know what to say. :-) See me often hide in room with my pc as my only partner all day all night.
But i do hope your situation gets better. Nobody likes to be alone. Loneliness really kills. hehe..
Pray always
Sam :-)
Thanks Sam, really appreciated =)
Sometimes, I do feel that people are getting colder and colder, starting to miss out the details, which are the most important ingredients in friendship.
We tend to think that a small thing won't harm others, but it DOES.
We are beginning to avoid the smallest care... thinking that we have nothing to do with the worst case.
Seriously, everything counts, every small things count.
And I'm also following the mistakes as well...
You're so moody oh yesterday... What makes you so sad? Friends are always there for you, but u have to move on as well...
Take Care & God bless you!
u can come n join us....
if u think we r mature enough
u r Welcome
Geez, not the mature matter again. LOL
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